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Shakespeare Sonnet 130
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Warning: Send this one to someone you DON'T like. hehe Shakespeare was in a bad mood when he wrote this one about the "dark lady". Actually, it is one of his more popular parodies. The common joke about this sonnet in the contemporary world is that reader's who are unable to interpret Shakespeare commonly misinterpret this sonnet to be a love sonnet and will unknowingly send it to their lover.
My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground.
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.
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