Dear Diva Rebecca,

I have been out of the dating game for a while. It seems like I have always been in a serious relationship and never had much of an opportunity to just date for any length of time. Well, I find myself now single and just dating. I have had a few fun dates here and there and the more I do it, the more I come out of my shell. Now I just met a guy I am so excited about! He is so handsome, sweet and fun. I have a date with him this weekend and I am very nervous, but it is a good nervousness. A sort of crazy anticipation feeling. I really want to make a good impression….any advice?

Sincerely,

Dating Newbie,
Queen Creek, Arizona

Dear Dating Newbie,

I am glad to hear that you are having fun dating! I remember those days. I had a blast! Some people don’t like to be in the dating game. They would rather be in a relationship. And then when they get into a relationship, they look back upon the dating days fondly and with a nostalgic gleam in their eyes. Take all the time you need when you are dating and have as much fun as you can with it. You never want to feel as if you missed out on something later on in the future.

I know the kind of feeling you are describing. It happens when you meet someone you have an instant connection with. Something about that person is highly attractive to you and knowing that you might be attractive to this person makes your heart soar as if it had wings. These are exciting times!

The simple thing to tell you would be to look your best. I am sure you already have plans for that. If your financial situation permits, get a new outfit and don’t forget the shoes! Depending on where he is taking you, get something which would fit the occasion. Get your hair done, get a facial, a manicure and pluck those eyebrows. Don’t wear too much makeup but that is up to you. Sometimes change is good because it makes you feel like a new person so do something different. Change your hairstyle, your makeup regime, etc. Do something to reinvent yourself just a little. You will be excited about the way you look and that excitement will show in your face.

Before your date, exercise a little (or a lot). It will give you a rosy natural glow in your cheeks which will last throughout the evening. It will also give you that extra added energy which you might need if the date lasts long into the night.

Make sure you smell terrific. Use body lotion, body spray and some cologne or musk. But remember not to overdo it. You don’t want him to smell you halfway up the street.

On your date don’t expect him to pay for everything. Times have changed. It used to be that when someone asked you out, it was assumed that he would pay for the bill. Not anymore. Women have careers and independence. You can afford to offer to split the bill or pay for something else. Show him that you are generous and you think of others. Most likely, he will insist on paying, but you can make the gesture of offering.

Don’t get too drunk. Women make this mistake all too often on the first date. They are excited and nervous and those drinks just seem to go down too quickly and too easily. They help kill the nerve bug which is doing somersaults in your belly. After a few more drinks you might think and feel like you are the most sophisticated and fabulous woman in the world. You think you are dancing better than anyone on Dancing with the Stars, people are cheering you on and everyone wants to talk to you. In reality, your date can’t understand a word you are saying because your speech is severely slurred, your spastic dance movements have cleared the entire dance floor and people are laughing at you, not with you. If your date has to carry you home, you might not get a second date. So no getting sloppy on your first date. Save that for your girlfriends.

During your date, try not to monopolize the conversation, brag continuously, talk about your exes and how horrible they were and talk about all of your personal and emotional problems. In short…DO NOT dump. He doesn’t want to hear it and he might think you are a bit unstable. This is another mistake many women make.

And finally, reserve some respect and dignity for your body. No matter how well you two have got along, no matter how hot a kisser he is, no matter how much you want to jump his bones, do not have sex on the first date. Yes, I know, times have changed. But sex should be special and it should be with someone you care about and with someone who cares about you. Not to mention that refraining from sleeping with someone on the first date protects you emotionally and physically. I guess this is where I am old fashioned after all, but I think sex should be reserved.

Have fun on that date and I hope it works out!

Sincerely,

Diva Rebecca