i want to break them up

Dear Diva Rebecca,

My story is hard to explain see i went with this guy for 3 weeks and the first week he dumped me cause he still had feeling for his ex girl friend then we went back out again then a week later he dumped me cause he said I acted like we where a couple and that I told him what to do then we went out a week later we went out again then we breaked cause he said he wasn't ready for a serious relationship but I found out he is now going out with my good friend donna and he is having a serious relationship with her and i breaked them up one time cause she was playing him now they are going out again i try so hard to break them up cause i love him i can't get over him i want him back so bad noone knows how i feel but i truly do love him. please help me

Sincerely,

Backwoods Girl
Owen Cross Roads, Alabama

Dear Backwoods Girl,

Girl, your grammar is atrocious. I am not quite sure of your age, but you must learn about correct tenses, the wonders of punctuation and how to form a correct sentence. I had the most difficult time drudging through your email. I am not trying to be rude but I would highly suggest beefing up your communication skills. There is nothing sexier than the educated and intelligent woman.

I tried to extrapolate the necessary information from your email (but it wasn't easy). What I gathered was that you dated this guy for three weeks, he dumped you for an ex, then you went back out and he dumped you shortly after because he was not ready for a serious relationship, then he started seeing your friend seriously, you broke them up once and now they are back together again. Do I have it right?

First of all, this guy is one confused little boy. I say forget about him. If it stresses you out that he is with this other girl, don't let it. He will soon be changing girls again by the sounds of it. It seems like he goes through girls like he goes through underwear. I don't think even he knows what he wants right now. He could be just young and going through the motions of dating a lot (or sowing his wild oats due to his raging hormones) so you must take this into consideration. Young men bounce around a lot, they have no means of settling down at that age.

Second, you have to stop actively trying to break them up. This is not only going to make these two people really angry, but you will also be isolating yourself from all of your other friends. They will see what you are doing and you will start to lose your friends. This is not the goal you want to achieve. You need to be the mature one in this situation. Set an example for you and all of your friends. Remain cool and you will let everyone know that this problem does not bother you.

You can never take this kind of frustration out on "the other woman". Leave her out of it. Right now your problem is with him, so leave her alone and let her find out what kind of man he really is on her own.

I suggest moving on and stop feeding this guy so much attention. You are just inflating his ego. He is probably loving it. Pull back your attention and direct it towards other guys who will give you the affection you deserve. It will probably drive him just as crazy as you feel right now. And even if he does try and woo you back, throw him back in the ocean. There are plenty of bigger fish where he came from.

And finally, as I stated above, learn better communication skills. He may not understand that you even want him back. I know I had a difficult time assessing your situation skills. Think "college".

Sincerely,

Diva Rebecca