Dear Diva Rebecca,

I think I like this girl at work. I want to invite her to a concert with me, but there are two problems. A) I have a girlfriend and B) I am her boss. What should I do? I don't want to lose my girlfriend right now if this doesn't work out and I don't want work to be uncomfortable for her since she is a real good worker. I am torn on the inside. I am losing sleep.

Sincerely,

Confused Man,
Boston, MA

Dear Confused,

Sometimes I am at a loss for words. This isn't one of those times. Although I have a lot to say, and many things I want to say should be censured since minors tend to visit this site periodically, you do leave me a bit stupefied. Many basic questions have arisen in my attempt to assess your situation. First being, why the HELL do you have a girlfriend if you are still checking out other women and second, how the hell did you manage to become her superior? Not that I know anything about the female in question, but I have been able to gather a lot of personality insight from you.

It is pretty easy to assume that you just can't be alone. You don't want to be with your girlfriend if someone out there is better, but you don't want to be without her in case you can't get a better chick. It makes me wonder how old you are and if you are mature enough to understand the serious nature of relationships. You should be with your girlfriend because you love her and see a possible future with her. If you are interested in other women, let the poor girl go. You shouldn't just keep her around to appease your sense of insecurity. Seriously, that is just lame.

I am half tempted to tell you to go for it and ask her out in a vain attempt to get your ass sued for sexual discrimination. If you are really her boss, you should know that you would be putting yourself in a very serious and vulnerable position by making any advances towards a subordinate. If she declined your offer, she may feel awkward working together for you. She could nail any demotion or lack of financial compensation on your ass after the fact. If she did accept your invitation, she might do so out of obligation or because she feels like she must to keep her job. Again, this can come back to bite you in the ass. But you being her boss should know these basic principles of the work place. Because you didn't even bring it up as a major issue, I really don't feel sorry for you.

Your situation is entirely of your own doing. You will make your own decisions and nothing I can say will probably lead to you doing the right thing. My advice? Be alone for a while. You need to clear your neurotic head.

Sincerely,

Diva Rebecca