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Dear Diva Rebecca,
I think I like this girl at work. I want to invite her to a concert with me, but there are two problems. A) I have a girlfriend and B) I am her boss. What should I do? I don't want to lose my girlfriend right now if this doesn't work out and I don't want work to be uncomfortable for her since she is a real good worker. I am torn on the inside. I am losing sleep.
Sincerely,
Confused Man, Boston, MA
Dear Confused, Sometimes I am at a loss for words. This isn't one of those times. Although I have a lot to say, and many things I want to say should be censured since minors tend to visit this site periodically, you do leave me a bit stupefied. Many basic questions have arisen in my attempt to assess your situation. First being, why the HELL do you have a girlfriend if you are still checking out other women and second, how the hell did you manage to become her superior? Not that I know anything about the female in question, but I have been able to gather a lot of personality insight from you.
It is pretty easy to assume that you just can't be alone. You don't want to be with your girlfriend if someone out there is better, but you don't want to be without her in case you can't get a better chick. It makes me wonder how old you are and if you are mature enough to understand the serious nature of relationships. You should be with your girlfriend because you love her and see a possible future with her. If you are interested in other women, let the poor girl go. You shouldn't just keep her around to appease your sense of insecurity. Seriously, that is just lame.
I am half tempted to tell you to go for it and ask her out in a vain attempt to get your ass sued for sexual discrimination. If you are really her boss, you should know that you would be putting yourself in a very serious and vulnerable position by making any advances towards a subordinate. If she declined your offer, she may feel awkward working together for you. She could nail any demotion or lack of financial compensation on your ass after the fact. If she did accept your invitation, she might do so out of obligation or because she feels like she must to keep her job. Again, this can come back to bite you in the ass. But you being her boss should know these basic principles of the work place. Because you didn't even bring it up as a major issue, I really don't feel sorry for you.
Your situation is entirely of your own doing. You will make your own decisions and nothing I can say will probably lead to you doing the right thing. My advice? Be alone for a while. You need to clear your neurotic head.
Sincerely, Diva Rebecca
Not everyone will agree with me, everyone has their own opinion. What would your advice be? Be respectful and courteous. Rude remarks and slander of any kind will be removed. |
Comments..(Not Questions)
rajapandian
06 Oct 2008, 06:02
hai,i need girls.plz reply me............
rajeetharan
05 Oct 2008, 07:18
hi friend how are you
Devrajan
03 Oct 2008, 10:47
Ahh! the scent of you.
The softness of your skin touching mine.
A smile greets me.
The sweet curve of your lips is tender and welcoming.
As our lips meet, I feel the warmth of your breath.
The wetness of your lips greets me as they did the night before.
I touch your face and lose myself within the gaze of your love for me.
We embrace and welcome in the day anew.
I think to myself, I love this woman.
I want to lay in your arms forever.
This beautiful morning begins, and I wait.
Wait until you wake bedside me once again.
Until that day My Love, as I open my eyes to each new dawn,
I shall think of you, smile, and remember our first night together
Karan Singh Raghuwanshi
01 Oct 2008, 16:28
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I am working privet job in call center please make a girl friend.
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19 Aug 2008, 05:00
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HAMISU KANKIA
10 Jun 2008, 06:28
I want to get my first girlfriend
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10 Jun 2008, 06:23
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sandeep
23 May 2008, 03:04
I am 20 years boy and i have no gril friend. How can i make a gril friend.
I am working a government office. Please write me on my Email ID.
Thank you
I am waiting for your massige
sandeep
23 May 2008, 03:04
I am 20 years boy and i have no gril friend. How can i make a gril friend.
I am working a government office. Please write me on my Email ID.
Thank you
I am waiting for your massige
hassan abdulkadir katsina
12 May 2008, 06:33
I want have a girlfriend
Persephone
13 Apr 2008, 23:18
I'm siding with the guys on part of this one. Having an interest in a
co-worker is a common thing to arise whether you are male or female,
married or single, looking or not. When you work closely with people,
sometimes an attraction happens. When an attractive person walks into a
room people tend to take notice. It is not that they're looking to replace
the one they're with, it's human nature. It makes sense to be bewildered by
the idea that he may be "stringing along" his current girlfriend, but it is
also possible that there is nothing wrong with his relationship and he's
torn by his curiosity. It is easy to attack people based merely on
assumptions (as you've done here), however if all therapists did this to
their patients they'd be out of jobs. While you may not be a therapist,
this is something to think about since people frequent your site for
advice; not to be scolded for their rights and wrongs.
Lisa
15 Feb 2008, 08:11
I disagree with both of these gentlemen. Although often i agree with their
overall sentiments regarding women giving women relationship advice which
seems more vicious than it has to be. What makes this pathetic guy
deserving of your attack is that he is jerk enough to believe that it is
okay for him to keep his girlfriend hanging on while he explores a
relationship with someone else, just in case things don't work out. As you
said he needs to learn to be alone for a while! Also to Mike, you are a
guy! How would you respond if your sister's boyfriend posed this question?
Robert
09 Feb 2008, 16:36
I agree with Mike your response seems more like a vicious attack on someone
who is asking for your help. You assume too much about this man he works
with a woman and happens to be attracted to her, he probably was not
"checking out other women" as you said but really having uncontrollable
feelings, although many men are jerks there are just as many or more who
are actually confused, emotions are unpredictable and you dont always get
to choose when and who you feel them for so do me a big favor and give
"confused" another reply than the heartless one you have posted...
Mike Mignoli
04 Feb 2008, 18:36
Diva Rebecca,
Although I agree with some of what you say, your posts are written with
obvious bias for women. True, some of the guys sound like they are being
jerks, but you do not know everything about the situation, and are very
negative towards men. Why is it that you feel this way, might it be
negative past experiences that are causing you to think so poorly of men?
I just do not think that you are being fair in some of your responses and I
would be curious to see a response from a male perspective.
Mike
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