Dear Diva Rebecca,

I met this wonderful man...but I suspect he may be married. How do I find out for sure?

Sincerely,

Paranoid Freak
Fort Morgan, CO

Dear Paranoid Freak,

There are a lot of men out there who are married yet still look for some "on the side" fun. Sometimes the other woman knows about his marital status while other times he keeps it from her. Cheating men on the low are more common than the average dater may think. Still, it would not take long before you would figure the big secret out.

Signs that he (or she) may be married are:

• He/she NEVER invites you to his home.
  
• He/she rarely answers your phone calls. He/she calls YOU to get in touch.
  
• He/she never sleeps over.
  
• You never get to meet his/her friends.
  
• You never get to meet his/her family.
  
• He/she is always on business trips.
  
• He/she walks away from you frequently to attend to very private phone calls.
  
• He/she does not answer the phone at all when he/she is with you; yet you know his/her phone is ringing because he/she is constantly looking at it to see who is calling.
  
• You don't hear from him/her for days at a time.
  
• He/she has a circular tan line around his/her ring finger.
  
• He/she never takes you to popular restaurants/bars/clubs.
  
• He/she takes you to motels.
  
• He/she insists that you call his/her pager instead of his/her cell.
  
• He/she doesn't give you his/her office number or even tells you where he/she works.
  
• He/she claims he/she doesn't have a home phone.
  
• All he/she wants to do is have sex.
  
• He/she does not want to talk about his/her "feelings" or about taking things to the "next level". In fact, he/she avoids all topics of conversations based on the emotional involvement of the relationship.