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Dear Diva Rebecca,
My Fiance has recently called off our engagement. To my understanding it was done over an argument that had nothing to do with us. It was between his parents and I. His parents hurt me a great deal. It was hard to get over it, but I knew I eventually would have. I just needed time. There were some very harsh words exchanged from me, but I was really hurt. Our arguing over his parents lasted for two weeks, and then he just called off the wedding out of the blue. He actually did not call the engagement off to my face he did it over the phone, and I have not seen him or really talked to him since. I have tried, but he seems like he is done.
Sincerely,
Parent Problems,
Morehead, Kentucky
Dear Parent Problems,
You should never ever get in such arguments with your significant other's family. I have no idea what happened and it could be their fault or yours. No matter what the case, you need to avoid family drama such as this.
Even if his family acted like participants on the Jerry Springer show you should turn the other cheek and act like the bigger person. Having screaming matches will never result in anything good. Even if his parents are the most atrocious people in the world, they are still his parents and they will always be a part of his life. To be honest, I can sympathize with your man. My mother is very ill. She has a terrible disease called Multiple Sclerosis. The disease has devastated her body and her mind. Slowly she has reverted back to the mind and personality of a 7 year old little girl. She throws tantrums, tells incredible lies and loves to cause problems. Yet she is still my mother. I could understand if my man would be upset with her, but if he ever raised his voice to her I think I would dump him, no matter how much I loved him. I understand that my situation is different than yours because your pseudo-in laws are probably not mentally impaired, but the feelings remain the same. If you disrespect the family, you disrespect the individual.
The only way you are going to salvage this relationship is to show him how much you want to remain with him. The only thing that will show him this is if you resolve your differences with his family. It is time to bite your lip and apologize. And the next time they piss you off, just walk away. learn how to hold your head up high and not have the need to retaliate verbally.
Sincerely,
Diva
Not everyone will agree with me, everyone has their own opinion.
What would your advice be?
Be respectful and courteous. Rude remarks and slander of any kind will be removed. |
Comments..(Not Questions)
Sarah
07 Oct 2008, 12:16
My boyfriend and I met through his sister and my best friend. Paul & I met
and we hit it off. It wasn't brought to my attention that he had a
girlfriend in prison until I had already developed feelings for me. When I
asked him bout it he said that he wasn't happy with her and wanted to move
on in life. Now that she is out of prison his family wants them back
together and will do anything to break us up. I love him with all my heart
but not wanting to deal with the drama. What should I do?
disagree
02 Feb 2008, 22:31
You should never let anyone treat you harshly or unfairly, no matter whose
family. This does not mean that you should yell, as the diva thinks you
did. But it does mean that regardless of his loyalties, you should be
looking out for yourself. And you should tell him how his family makes you
feel bad or uncomfortable, and if he loves you, then he would listen to
you, and try to affect change. Don't just lie down if you're being treated
poorly. Wake up and taste the 21st century. You're not simply indebted to
him, you're not bound by some dowry, you're a partner, and you have every
right to be vocal.
dRAMA Follows me
13 Nov 2007, 18:43
I have to disagree with the advice given, i have in laws who are awful.
they tell lies, and talk bad about me and my husband, they are horrible
horrible people who need to be out of his life. they threaten him and treat
him badly. I never fought with them, but they hate me because of a
situation that arose, where my at the time boyfriend lied to me about
something BIG and he was trying to tell me hed never lie again, and then
all of a sudden it comes out that he lied in this apology, i got so upset
and after that his parents have hated me. they thought i over reacted, and
kept telling him that he could do better. the same people who just a month
before were saying that i was the answer to their prayers. i was more hurt
by their actions then his. now hes been threatened to be kicked out of his
house, and finally after this happening he decided just to leave, today his
parents called him 20 times in two hours, threatening him to call back or
something bigger and worse then he ever expected was going to happen. they
are awful to their own family.
Rebecca
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