Dear Diva Rebecca,

My boyfriend and I have only been dating for a few months and when we are together alone, everything is great. But when we are in public, I feel rejected. He always walks a few feet in front of me, won’t hold my hand and always introduces me as his friend rather than his girlfriend. He acts like he is ashamed to be seen with me. When I bring this up to him he apologizes but quickly changes the subject and I am starting to feel stupid for bringing it up, like I am nagging him. Am I just over analyzing things? Am I too sensitive?

Sincerely,

Sheepish and Insecure,
Moose, Wyoming

Dear Sheepish,

No, my dear, you are not simply too sensitive and you are not over analyzing things. It isn’t you who is insecure, it is him. Most likely, he doesn’t like to be involved in public displays of affection. He has a personal No PC rule. A lot of people are like that. And it creates a major incompatibility problem between you two.

I don’t know him personally. He could, for all we know, just not be that serious about you. He could be a player and wants everyone to know he is single and available. We just don’t know for sure. But you have already brought up the issue to him and he still has not made you feel more comfortable so I don’t think this is a match made in heaven.

People who blend well together UNDERSTAND each other. They are happy to accommodate each other and they do little things to make the other smile. A small amount of public affection in any form is something which you probably need and he doesn’t want to give it. So basically, the longer you stay in this relationship, the more miserable you are apt to become. You can’t force him to be more affectionate in public. It is something you can only ask him to do. And if he doesn’t, he probably won’t.

In my opinion, you would be much happier moving on and finding someone who makes you happy and who compliments you. And, if you left this guy citing this very problem which you described, who knows? He might realize that he actually has to make you happy if he wants to keep you and he could change. It is a possibility. I am only telling you to move on because you have only been dating for a few months. A few months is not a long time at all. And the problem you described is a pretty big one. There are guys out there who are more on your level.

Sincerely,

Diva Rebecca