Dear Diva Rebecca,

I have been dating this guy for 1 1/2 years. I thought everything was fine, until he told me that he went to a New Year's Eve party, got drunk and woke up with his pants unzipped. He told me that he does not know what happened to him or what he did. He was crying when he told me this but ever since then he told me this he has pushed me away. He says he needs time to think. I really love this guy and thought he loved me.

Sincerely,

Cheated On
Ocean View, Delaware

Dear Cheated On,

Let's break this one down, shall we?

You have been dating for a little while now so he knows what a real relationship is. You are in a commitment. 1 1/2 years qualifies as a long term relationship. So this man knows what is going on and he knows he has a real girlfriend. He knows the difference between right and wrong and he knows what it takes to hold down a real relationship. I am not sure of his age, or yours, but as long as you are not still in high school, he should be considered a big boy.

He went to a New Years Eve party by himself. He attended a blow out party without his significant other on a very special party date. This is the day you are supposed to be with your special love. It is tradition to ring in the new year with a toast and a kiss from your beloved. Why on earth did he not bring you? If you were available and he went alone, by guess is because he was in the mood to party with another female companion and have a night of debauchery. Some guys crave it.

He tells you that he woke up with his pants unzipped and he is not sure about what happened. He is leaving out the part about waking up covered in chocolate syrup and finding himself between two strippers. Of course he knows what happened. He knows exactly what he did and who he did it with. Don't be so naive. Even if he was completely sauced, he would be having fuzzy flashbacks about the most sinful of moments. Especially if there was anything sexual involved.

And now he is telling you that he feels pushed away. Of course he is. First, he feels guilt about what he did so he made up some lame excuse about not remembering the night and eluded to the possibility of him making a terrible mistake. GONG! RED FLAG NUMBER ONE! Then he says he wants to take a breather from the relationship. GONG! RED FLAG NUMBER TWO! He wants to be with other women. It is not that he feels pushed away. It is the fact that he wants to party, be single and play park the limousine in the garage.

I am not trying to hurt your feelings. You deserve the truth. The truth will help you get over things. Instead, he is giving you the run around which is causing you more grief and heartache. Ug.

I would just kick him in the balls. Oh, I forgot, he doesn't have any.


Sincerely,

Diva Rebecca