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Dear Diva Rebecca,
I have been dating this guy for 1 1/2 years. I thought everything was fine, until he told me that he went to a New Year's Eve party, got drunk and woke up with his pants unzipped. He told me that he does not know what happened to him or what he did. He was crying when he told me this but ever since then he told me this he has pushed me away. He says he needs time to think. I really love this guy and thought he loved me.
Sincerely,
Cheated On
Ocean View, Delaware
Dear Cheated On,
Let's break this one down, shall we?
You have been dating for a little while now so he knows what a real relationship is. You are in a commitment. 1 1/2 years qualifies as a long term relationship. So this man knows what is going on and he knows he has a real girlfriend. He knows the difference between right and wrong and he knows what it takes to hold down a real relationship. I am not sure of his age, or yours, but as long as you are not still in high school, he should be considered a big boy.
He went to a New Years Eve party by himself. He attended a blow out party without his significant other on a very special party date. This is the day you are supposed to be with your special love. It is tradition to ring in the new year with a toast and a kiss from your beloved. Why on earth did he not bring you? If you were available and he went alone, by guess is because he was in the mood to party with another female companion and have a night of debauchery. Some guys crave it.
He tells you that he woke up with his pants unzipped and he is not sure about what happened. He is leaving out the part about waking up covered in chocolate syrup and finding himself between two strippers. Of course he knows what happened. He knows exactly what he did and who he did it with. Don't be so naive. Even if he was completely sauced, he would be having fuzzy flashbacks about the most sinful of moments. Especially if there was anything sexual involved.
And now he is telling you that he feels pushed away. Of course he is. First, he feels guilt about what he did so he made up some lame excuse about not remembering the night and eluded to the possibility of him making a terrible mistake. GONG! RED FLAG NUMBER ONE! Then he says he wants to take a breather from the relationship. GONG! RED FLAG NUMBER TWO! He wants to be with other women. It is not that he feels pushed away. It is the fact that he wants to party, be single and play park the limousine in the garage.
I am not trying to hurt your feelings. You deserve the truth. The truth will help you get over things. Instead, he is giving you the run around which is causing you more grief and heartache. Ug.
I would just kick him in the balls. Oh, I forgot, he doesn't have any.
Sincerely,
Diva Rebecca
Not everyone will agree with me, everyone has their own opinion.
What would your advice be?
Be respectful and courteous. Rude remarks and slander of any kind will be removed. |
Comments..(Not Questions)
Shannon
27 May 2008, 14:20
Ok so I dated this guy for 2 years. Last July he proposed me but it wasn't
really official until Christmas when he got me a real ring. Now he works
the over night shift at Wal mart and his friend's wife started working
there as well.....same shift but different nights off. Now he and this
chick HATED each other. Well they became like best friends and he couldn't
see that I was uncomfortable with it. Well I saw a text from her like a
month later saying that she was in love with him. I confronted him and he
was like I took care of it. So I believed him. Well he had also said that
the texts we're gonna stop. They never did. In fact they got worse. She had
started sending topless photos to his cell phone and to make matters worse
he sent them to email address and I saw them one day while he was checking
his emails and he had the nerve to say he wasn't cheating! I always told
him that he needs to tell me everything if we're gonna get married, but he
was always like I don't want to make you mad. Cause he never told me about
the text. He never told me about the pictures. It sucked! Then we broke up
me and he started fucking her! I was pissed! He broke up with me for her.
But once again he won't admit it. He won't admit that he cheated but
doesn't it sound like he did? He claims he didn't cheat. I'm crazy for
thinking that he did am I?
Shannon
27 May 2008, 14:20
Ok so I dated this guy for 2 years. Last July he proposed me but it wasn't
really official until Christmas when he got me a real ring. Now he works
the over night shift at Wal mart and his friend's wife started working
there as well.....same shift but different nights off. Now he and this
chick HATED each other. Well they became like best friends and he couldn't
see that I was uncomfortable with it. Well I saw a text from her like a
month later saying that she was in love with him. I confronted him and he
was like I took care of it. So I believed him. Well he had also said that
the texts we're gonna stop. They never did. In fact they got worse. She had
started sending topless photos to his cell phone and to make matters worse
he sent them to email address and I saw them one day while he was checking
his emails and he had the nerve to say he wasn't cheating! I always told
him that he needs to tell me everything if we're gonna get married, but he
was always like I don't want to make you mad. Cause he never told me about
the text. He never told me about the pictures. It sucked! Then we broke up
me and he started fucking her! I was pissed! He broke up with me for her.
But once again he won't admit it. He won't admit that he cheated but
doesn't it sound like he did? He claims he didn't cheat. I'm crazy for
thinking that he did am I?
natalie
18 Apr 2008, 10:44
Dear,
Diva Rebecca ive been with my boyfriend for three years he started
talking to his friends girlfriend at the time and he would always hang out
with her when he was with her he'd fight with me so that i wouldnt hang out
i guess and i even saw him coming out of his room (that was dark by the
way) and she was laying in his bed and he swore he wouldnt do that to his
friend or to me.. she's not that attractive but still. and we ended up
fighting alot he was an asshole with me for two months ...so we took a
break and got back together he has been good ever since she took off with
her boyfriend who is now her husband and now shes back and thier texting
and talking again ang wanting to hang out only he wont tell me striaght out
he just says he "wants to be alone" and everytime he said that he hung out
with her!...and im not ready to go through that again not to mention i saw
a text where he told her he loved her i confronted him and he said he was
sorry and he regreted it and he ment it as friends and i told him he
shouldnt say that to any other woman but me he's a good guy and i believe
him cause i know him but he really fits the signs of a cheating bastard!
what should i do?
natalie
18 Apr 2008, 10:43
Dear,
Diva Rebecca ive been with my boyfriend for three years he started
talking to his friends girlfriend at the time and he would always hang out
with her when he was with her he'd fight with me so that i wouldnt hang out
i guess and i even saw him coming out of his room (that was dark by the
way) and she was laying in his bed and he swore he wouldnt do that to his
friend or to me.. she's not that attractive but still. and we ended up
fighting alot he was an asshole with me for two months ...so we took a
break and got back together he has been good ever since she took off with
her boyfriend who is now her husband and now shes back and thier texting
and talking again ang wanting to hang out only he wont tell me striaght out
he just says he "wants to be alone" and everytime he said that he hung out
with her!...and im not ready to go through that again not to mention i saw
a text where he told her he loved her i confronted him and he said he was
sorry and he regreted it and he ment it as friends and i told him he
shouldnt say that to any other woman but me he's a good guy and i believe
him cause i know him but he really fits the signs of a cheating bastard!
what should i do?
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