Dear Diva Rebecca,

I really am in a bind and going out of my mind. I am recently divorced following an 11 year marriage due to the fact that my ex-husband didn't want to have children. I ended up going out with one of his friends who in fact wanted to have a family. We were together for about 2 and a half years. I finally received my divorce in July/2004, we broke up on May 5/2004. I have been sick to my stomach not knowing what I can do. Now that I am finally divorced I am free to marry, etc. I want to contact him and ask him if he is seeing anyone, since I found out several months ago that he was dating someone from another city, but she was not of the same religion. Please advise me.

Sincerely,

Newly Divorced
Vestavia Hills, Alabama

Dear Newly Divorced,

What are you confused about? You are divorced and free to date. There is nothing to fear here and you do not have to call and get permission from your ex hubby to date. You heard he has been dating, so what is the problem? Why are you sick to your stomach? You can do whatever you want to do. You are completely single and care free.

You can date anyone you want. You can have a fling. You can become a serial dater. You can date as many people as you want at one time. You can have one night stands or the popular so called "hookups". You can date your local grocer, your mailman or that cute hunk from the gym. You can date online and indulge in chat rooms. You can have a relationship and get married. You can go to Vegas and get married today. You can do whatever floats your boat. You can even find a sperm donor and have children.

The choice is yours and the choices are limitless. Have fun and stop worrying. Just get out there and play. And my advice is to keep it to yourself. A divorce means COMPLETE separation. You have your own life to live now.

What I am wondering is why you have taken so long to figure this out. You have been divorced for almost a year! You should have been having a blast this whole time.

Sincerely,

Diva Rebecca