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Dear Diva Rebecca,
I am only in my 20's and I have already slept with over a hundreds guys. Of course I have been called all of the names: slut, whore, etc. And all of the guys I know have labeled me as easy prey when they want to get laid. This has caused me to get into a little depression. The town I live in is not that small but small enough for a bad reputation to circulate. There is nothing I can do but move now, but I don�t see myself a changing anytime soon. I don't think I am bad person. I mean, I am a woman and I enjoy sex. I am not cheating on anyone and I don't have sex with just anyone. But if I am out partying, I get horny. Just like a guy! So this becomes the age old question, "How come guys can do it and girls can't?" Most of the time, these guys come on to me�.its I not like I go looking for it. It just happens. Why am I made out to look like the terrible person?
Dirty Little Slut
Somerset, New Jersey
Dear Dirty Little Slut,
Hmmmm....Over 100 guys and you are only in your twenties? Wow, that I a lot of manhood to have experienced at such a young age. By now you should be a master of penis manipulation. The women who control the penis controls the world. Okay, maybe I went a little too far on that one. I made it up. But it does have some truth to it.
First of all, you have made yourself known as an easy target. So if some poor Joe Blow is not getting his dietary fix of sexual stimulation, he knows just where to get it. If he can get it that easily, why on earth would he feel like he needs to give you some special treatment? Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free, we all know that one. If you want to be treated better, you need to actually say "No"; once in a while and be more selective. Let a guy know that you are not going to give it up unless you get treated better. Every girl knows that by controlling when he gets some sexual loving you can get him to do virtually anything for you. So be smart about sex and use it to your advantage.
I understand that you just want some satisfaction too. It is not fair that for a woman to be respected she must have few sexual partners when it doesn't count in the slightest for a man. Hey, a man gets even more respect when he has become the king of getting women into his bed. You should not let what other people say bother you that much. But I am sure that can be hard when the whole town is chanting your name as their town Jezebel.
To really move on in this situation, I would suggest you pack up and head for higher ground. When you have become labeled in one geographic area, you begin to believe what people are saying about you, fall further into depression and you can become cast-typed for the rest of your life. When you move to a new area, you have the chance of starting a whole new life and you get to become whomever you want. I am not telling you to run away and hide, I am just giving you an option of creating a whole new persona. You can completely re-create yourself! You have the ability to become happy again at a faster rate. After a little while, your old town will have forgotten about your bad name. Rumors don't last long.
If you do move, make sure you stay strong and say "No" every once in a while. You do not need to have sex every time you think a guy is coming on to you. Besides, sex is much sweeter when you let anticipation build up. Also, forget about the old idea that men are allowed to have sex and women are not. The sexual revolution happened a while ago. Take my word for it...you can enjoy sex. (Safety first!! Use condoms with all of these penises!)
Not everyone will agree with me, everyone has their own opinion.|
What would your advice be?
Be respectful and courteous. Rude remarks and slander of any kind will be removed.