Loving the Bad Boy
by Diva Rebecca
While it may be true that women love the bad boy and the bad boy image, I don't think there is one definitive reason why women are very often attracted to the bad boy while the good guy gets the shaft. I believe there are many reasons why the good girl gets suckered into the bad boy lifestyle. It depends on where the woman is in her life, what she is looking for and of course, her personality type. Not all women fall for the bad boys. The smart ones can pick them out in a heartbeat and avoid the common pitfalls. The smart ones go for the quiet geeky studious types....these are the men who will be running the world later on down the road. Although, not all bad boy types are the men who ride motorcycles, smoke two packs a day, play guitar in a band and have tattoos. Some bad boys are well disguised as the successful attorney, prominent doctor and visionary businessman. But to the well trained eye of a sophisticated woman, he is still simply the bad boy.
Still, why then do so many women end up falling for the bad boys who treat them with contempt and viciousness. And why do women keep going back to men who treat them so poorly? Some men seem to think that women actually enjoy being treated like crap. They must like it since they keep going back to the same guy who treats them so vehemently. And so these curious men try out the bad boy routine. They try to be the guy who treats a woman maliciously. Sometimes it even works for them. Why?
One reason why the girl goes for the bad boy begins at a young age and is simply immaturity. The bad boy might be popular, he might break all the rules and do things differently. A young girl isn't ready to settle down anyhow and is not able to see that the bad boy is not the right one for her. This doesn't just go for the teenage high school girl, this goes for the single woman in her twenties and early thirties who still frequents the night club scene. She wants to be someone and to be someone she has to be seen with an important someone. The bad boy gives her what she needs: excitement, thrills and fun. But as soon as he starts treating her like a piece of throwaway trash, she has become accustomed to the lifestyle of fun and excitement and will not readily give it up. Therefore she keeps going back for more. She wants to keep her life the way it is while she hopes that eventually he will come around and start to realize he does love her. It won't happen until she leaves him.
Another reason which is along these same lines has to do with love addiction and withdrawals. The bad boy often portrays a dual personality. He gives love to a woman, then takes it away. She becomes addicted to that love and like a drug she suffers the withdrawal when he takes it away from her. She keeps going back to him because she is waiting for him to change and give her that love again. He will keep bringing her up and down with this false sense of security, like a yo-yo. He brings her up and throws her back down again. And she keeps going back for more, becoming more insistent that he really does love her. She tricks her own mind into thinking that he just needs time, or to be trained or more love to realize that he really does love and need her.
Of course, there are a few women out there who have the never ending victim personality. They grew up as a victim with an abusive mother or father and were trained to endure the victim lifestyle. It is these women who seek out men who abuse them in some way, whether it be physically or mentally and then stay put. These are women who should seek counseling to break the cycle or they may never escape.
There are women who get tricked by the bad boy in disguise. They meet a guy who seems like a great guy, a loving man and a trustworthy soul. That man tells her everything she wants to hear and literally tricks her into falling in love with him. When his true bad boy image comes out, the woman is in utter disbelief and shock. When he starts to treat her terribly she doesn't leave. Instead, she sticks around because of the shock. She can't believe this could be happening. She hopes, prays, wishes and does everything she can possibly think of to try and change him back into the man she fell in love with. And he is loving every minute of it.
But then there are the women who decide that they want a serious and committed relationship. They have had the relationships with the bad boys, the ones that caused them so much grief (who hasn't?) and they are seeking guys who will be loving and true. Now its time for the bad boy to step aside and the good guy to replace him. This is a sign of maturity. And it is the good guy who will end up with a loving relationship and a happy home. For all you good guys out there who suffer from women who always seem to run back to their evil ex's, just wait. Because there will come a time when a woman is sick and fed up with the bad boy.....and she will come looking for you.
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Hi, I'm Chase Oliver and I'm 32 years old.