knowing when to leave, getting out of a relationship, leaving a relationship, should I leave?

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    How I Saved My Marriage
    My Story

    My husband's involvement and attraction towards me was fading away. It was only a matter a time before he would ask for a divorce. Even though I knew it would happen soon I was in a state of shock when the moment finally arrived.

    I did what I could to cope with it all. I derived a “what's wrong with us” list. Then followed it up with a “how to improve” list. I gone through episodes where I pleaded with my husband, tried to talk him out of it, cried while bluntly begging and other usual responses and tactics from someone who doesn't want a divorce. We tried counseling without success. In desperation, I suggested a trial separation hoping that he misses me and things would go back to normal.

    Story continues - read what happened next



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    Knowing When To Leave
    by Diva Rebecca

    coffee

    There is a time when you should cut your losses and move on from a relationship. And there is also a time when you should learn to let go of what could have been and try to grow from your grief of losing a loved one. Letting go can be the most difficult thing a person goes through. For those that have truly loved another as strongly as could ever be imagined in the depths of the heart, letting go takes many months and in some cases, years. In other instances, letting go can be a mistake. A person considering leaving a relationship ought to think twice because small problems can be overcome, and every relationship suffers periods of ups and downs. The strongest relationships are the ones which see through the difficult periods and conquer them. In yet other relationships, emotional and physical abuse should be an immediate sign for leaving a relationship quickly.

    When a relationship is strained and both partners are upset, neither partner is getting the satisfaction they want from the relationship. One might want love and attention while the other desires more freedom. A situation such as this can cause one to be pushed away while the other is clinging on to someone halfway out the door, pushing them as they go. If one person in the relationship wants to leave, the other must do their best to let go and try to move on. It is only by doing so will their significant other be able to find their way back, because you will have given him or her the freedom they desire. Letting go in this case can help mend the relationship in the long run. Letting go will help you heal within your soul and old problems will cease to exist in the heart and mind, enabling a new beginning with someone new or that love who got away. However, there can be no new beginning until the pain in your heart is released.

    In many instances, a lover will enter a relationship head over heels in love. In time, when things settle down, a role reversal could occur and that once love-strung person could decide to end the relationship down the line for many reasons. To people out there considering ending the relationship for different petty reasons, I ask you to think again. There was something about this person that you so desperately loved, and for reasons unexplained your feelings might have changes. Most likely, your significant other has become attached and the thrill of the chase is no longer available to you. A survey done on men and women who left a relationship or got divorced was recently applied. Over 90% of these people who initiated the break up or divorce regretted it. People get separated and divorced all too often in this country for the smallest of reasons. I promise you now that most of the time it is not worth it. When you find love, you should keep it and work on it. Your feelings will always go in and out with the tide but if you can make it through the dark times, light will shine once again and your feelings of love will be restored. Acts of kindness, sympathy and love on a regular basis, even when you don't want to, will help most of the time.

    However, there does exist the relationships which need to be severed, and severed completely. If your lover is constantly cheating and dealing out emotional abuse on any level, it is time to move on. Sometimes it may be difficult to see or even acknowledge. But if you are crying most of the time or feel hurt by your significant other on a regular basis, you must ask yourself if this is worth it. Why continue on a path filled with hurt, anger and despair when you could be leading a life filled with love and kindness? For most of you in this situation, you are hanging on to the memory of the love you once had between you. You so desperately want him or her to start treating your with the dignity, love and respect that was once given. This is completely understandable. However, the more you long for this treatment, the more your need will be displayed and the worse you will be treated. Here, again, we see the need to let go and move on. This is simply easier said than done, but it must be done for your own sanity and mental health. When physical abuse is involved, leaving should be your only option. Unfortunately for many women, they find themselves staying in an abusive relationship because they are too afraid to leave. They are afraid for their lives and afraid that they can simply not live on their own. Friends can help in every single situation above, and they can be the most helpful in this situation.

    Have any comments? Post them below. Be respectful and courteous. Rude remarks and slander of any kind will be removed.

    Comments..(Not Questions)

    gina
    05 Oct 2008, 19:36
    I was in a relationship for about 1yr although we still live together. It started hot and heavy. I knew he had female friends but I didn't know how he communicated with them until I found his emails. Many times during our relationship i starting feeling he was full of shit. One day I found some seductive messages in his phone. I lashed out at him becaue I
    Christine
    30 Sep 2008, 03:07
    A man who respects his mother and his mother's feelings often respects his wife and her feelings.
    Christine
    30 Sep 2008, 03:07
    A man who respects his mother and his mother's feelings often respects his wife and her feelings.
    Gloria
    17 Jan 2008, 08:39
    Are you kidding? Do you not know the difference between a loving, kind and mature father who puts trust and love into his children's hearts and minds from a man who belittles, disrespects and crushes the self esteem of his children that he gave life to. You need help if you can't see the difference. And you need to put a stop to it and protect your children before your children grow up and believe that that is how you talk and treat people you love. And be ready for your children to start treating you with disrepect when they older because that is what you are allowing them to be exposed to. BE THEIR MOTHER AND PROTECTOR AND STOP THIS ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR!!!
    kim
    08 Nov 2007, 03:20
    yes
    jade
    08 Nov 2007, 03:19
    Well, I am leaving, but before I do, is there some-one out there who can answer this question for me?: When your husband says things like the following, is this emotional abuse: "Get up off your ass and come here", to a child....: "Get the f...k out of the TV room with the f...ng ball".....there are many such examples. I guess I'm confused,sometimes I wonder if it's not my fault.... maybe I'm the one that entices him...cause sometimes he is really nice, so I just want to know your opinion, thank you.
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