Free Bag Diva

When Your Friends and Family Dislike Your Significant Other
by Diva Rebecca

It can be a great disappointment when you friends and loved ones do not get along with your main squeeze. It actually becomes quite a painful issue because the problem can feel as if the important people in your life are disrespecting you by disrespecting your relationship, your beloved and your happiness. It hurts! And when this type of relationship resentment occurs, it can cause even bigger problems such as stress within your relationship.

Usually, the root of the common dislike happens to be your fault. I said “usually” but not always. You surely did not intend to cause this upheaval of turbulent emotions ebbing from your loved ones, but it occurs when you pass on details of your relationship woes to these people. Basically, when you open up to other people and divulge your private relationship problems, you are only feeding fuel to the fire. While you may have only needed a shoulder to cry on, an open ear or some trustworthy advice from someone you trust, you are accidentally giving other people reason to negatively judge your significant other.

We all have relationship problems. No relationship is perfect. You are going to have some bumps, hiccups, and even a few wars. But for the most part, what you should do when you are in a relationship is keep your private problems private. Sometimes you might need some advice, or just a good friend to talk to and that is okay. But most of the time, you should work private problems out just between the two of you. If you continuously seek help from friends or family regarding your relationship, then these people will be apt to think that your significant other is only causing problems, since that is all they hear about. And you have to expect this! If these people only hear the about the negative issues, they are just going to assume that you could do a lot better.

Perhaps you have already said too much and your friends and family have now developed a one-sided negative opinion about your beloved. Not all opinions are permanent. They can be changed, and they can be swayed….just like your presidential candidate vote. The process is as simple as keeping your mouth shut! Stop talking about your problems…..and reverse the situation. Talk about how WONDERFUL your significant other is. Tell them what he or she did for your recently, tell them about the nice things which were done, talk about his or her recent important accomplishments. Pump that person up in front of their eyes. Basically, I want you to brag. It is never too late to try and fix this problem. You can’t expect them to change their opinion tomorrow, but if you keep it up, you can expect a gradual change in opinion and a general level of acceptance.

Some people tend to isolate themselves from overly judgmental friends and family rather than trying to fix the problem. This is going t have the wrong effect on many levels. First, your friends and your family were there long before your significant other. You should try and maintain your relationship with them out of respect and decency. Second, if you isolate yourself from them, you will only increase their dislike of your beloved! You don’t want that. And third, this type of behavior typically indicates a bad relationship. And that is something many people will recognize, making the fire burn even hotter.

If some of your loved ones verbally bash and attack your significant other to your face, the best thing to do is to try and separate yourself from the conversation. You don’t need to subject yourself to that kind of brutality. You could be the better person and say, “I understand how you feel, but it is your opinion.” And end the conversation there rather than arguing. The next time you talk to that person, talk about how wonderful your relationship is and list the reasons why. You will be cutting that person off at the pass, not giving him or her a chance to say something negative about your significant other.

Remember to always pass on the good information regarding your relationship to other people. If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all!

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