Free Bag Diva

Don't Break Up a Relationship
by Diva Rebecca

Trying to purposefully break up a relationship, whether you are the ex-girlfriend or boyfriend, a wannabe girlfriend or boyfriend, a jealous best friend or a parent, could easily backfire on you. But this is not the real reason why you should never consider relationship sabotage. Why should you maliciously try and ruin someone's happiness just to appease your own desires? It doesn't matter if their relationship is wrong or right, it is none of your business.

When you really care about someone, you want that person to be happy above all. Trying to ruin that person's relationship with someone else is not a sign of love. You are directly attacking that person's right to happiness. And that is not love, but jealousy. Love and jealousy are two completely different animals. Even if you are extremely hurt, the mature person will let that person go and be happy even if it is with someone else. It doesn't mean YOU have to be happy about it, it just means you will allow happiness to enter the heart of the one that got away.

When you do meddle in a relationship, you pretty much end up looking like the wicked witch of the west. You efforts will almost always backfire on you.

Case in Point: My friend has a sixteen year old boy. That boy was dating another girl who my friend disliked very much. Every night she would needle him on how much she hated his girlfriend. She would ground him, prevent him from seeing her and more. All it did was cause him to run straight into his girlfriend's arms. Now they are going steady, of course. And a major reason for this was his own mother's interference.

Case in Point: A girl I knew was dreadfully jealous because her ex was dating a new girl. Because we were all friends, we all ran into each other regularly on the weekends. It was hard on my friend, and we felt badly for her. But she made the mistake of deciding to take things into her own hands by attacking their relationship. She secretly planted rumors regarding both his ex and the new girl; rumors which depicted both of them having been seen cheating on each other. The initial turmoil created didn't last long because my jealous friend was discovered to be the source of the rumors. And when they found out she lied, that relationship between her ex and his new girl only solidified, and his anger was so great that he refused to speak with his ex ever again.

So why does trying to break up a couple only cause that couple to become even stronger and possibly more in love? Why do the efforts of trying to ruin a relationship backfire and result in the opposite effect? Because what it does is only unite both people in a cause. It unifies them and brings them together so that they can overcome this obstacle as a force. It also gives them something to go through together which always creates a unique bond. So if you are trying to break someone up, think again. Your actions may only make their relationship even stronger.

Many people try to break up a couple secretively, as in the second case I mentioned. No matter how secretly you try and break up a relationship, you will always run the risk of being discovered. And once discovered you will find yourself in a position of agony. People could be turned against you, you could be outed from several social groups, rumors will fly through the night about your botched scandal, the couple you were trying to harm will most likely be bonded together for a long time and what is more, that person might harbor some pretty resentful feelings towards you for a long time to come.

Case in Point: We don't know why she did it, but a girl I know went to the trouble of sending her male friend's new girlfriend some pretty horrific emails. The emails were threatening and suspicious. The woman being terrorized finally hired an investigator. The emails were traced back to this girl I know and the police were called in. They took her computer and some other evidence. Basically, she is in a whole bunch of trouble. We don't know if she was trying to break them up or if she was just being a prankster, but it backfired in a horrendous way. Everyone knows about it and people have tabooed her from certain social situations. She has since gone into hiding for the time being.

So you catch my drift. Don't let this be you!