How Do I Get Over Him? | AdviceDiva.com

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Dear Diva Rebecca,

I'm just wondering how to get my ex out of my head. I know you have the book about how to get an ex back but I just want to forget about him. Every time I try not to talk to him, he either calls me or I start thinking about him. I just don't know what to do so I was wondering if you could help me.

Sincerely,

Mind without Power,
Ukiah, California

Dear Mind without Power,

That is a good question. Although I would think many people would ask me this question, you are the first.

Your first problem is that he calls you. He is trying to stay in your life. You must sever all lines of communication because if you talk to him here and there, or hear from him somehow, he is obviously not getting out of your mind, is he? Do not answer any of his calls, do not listen to the messages he leaves, do not return his calls, do not answer his emails or text messages. Erase his phone number from your phone and remove his email from your email and IM list. Block him on your IM and block his emails as well. This will help to remove the temptation to call him, email him or worse.....drunk dial him.

Now, if he gets a little peeved that you have not called him back or when he gets an email saying that his email to you was blocked, he may try and practically hunt you down. You may have to tell him in one brief conversation or email (email is better) that you would like to sever all communications with him and tell him (don't ask him) to not contact you anymore. At least now he will know what is going on. If he keeps trying to contact you after that, ignore him. If he actually comes to your house, God forbid, do not answer the door as tempting as it may be. He will eventually stop his nonsense after a while.

Next, start dating. Date, date, date. Date as much as you can. Eventually you will meet someone who will take your mind off your ex. Wouldn't that be great!? You will always end up dating some toads, a few freaks and a complete wack job here and there. But every so often you will meet Mr. Fabulous and your world will be turned upside down. Do you remember how great it was when you first met your ex? That can and will happen again.

Of course you also need to do the basics. Work out at the gym, diet and focus on your body. The best fix for any kind of depression is keeping your body in shape. The more you exercise, the more your body will release those happy endorphins which will help you get out of any depressed state. Find time to hang out with the girls and if you feel the need to talk to "him", call a girlfriend instead. Pamper yourself with some shopping, new clothes, new shoes (a must for any woman in need), facials, manicures and massages. Start focusing on YOURSELF rather than him.

Finally, the best defense against a stubborn memory is time. It may take a while but you will still think of him from time to time and it may be a little while before you completely recover. Do not worry about this. Your fleeting dreams of him are completely normal and they will fade with each day that goes by. Just give it time.

Sincerely,

Diva Rebecca

Not everyone will agree with me, everyone has their own opinion.
What would your advice be?
Be respectful and courteous. Rude remarks and slander of any kind will be removed.

Comments..(Not Questions)

me.and.just.me
27 Sep 2008, 23:33

I met him when i was 12 nowim 14. he is 16 and we been together for 2 yrs and some change. (long distance thing)ny, nj..he is 16 now and we are currently not talking to eachother and sometimes itfeelslike he's pastme. but no matter what he does and no matter how many times i think hedid something wrong and no matter howmany times he ignores me and pops up when ever he wants i still cantlet go even if he dd brake up wit me which im not even sure of i still act like he's mine..i really need counseling And i think im a stalker now! thats the honest to god truth

me.and.just.me
27 Sep 2008, 23:33

MRS.. ME
06 Jul 2008, 21:10

I AM IN THE SAME SITUATION I HAVE BEEN WITH MY BOYFRIEND FOR 4 YEARS AND I THINK HE IS CHEATING ON ME BUT I HAVE NO PROOF HE ALWAYS HAVE AN EXCUSE AN EVEN WHEN I NO HE IS LIEN ILET HIM GET AWAY WITH IT.. I FEEL REAL STUPID BUT I LOVE HIM AN HE HAS BEEN THE ONLY REAL BOYFRIEND THAT I HAD I AM 16 YEARS OLD YEAH I NO THATS TO YOUNG TO BE IN LOVE THATS WHAT MY MOMMY TELL ME BUT IF IT AINT LOVE THEN I DONT NO WHAT IT IS.. I LOVE HIM I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HIM. HE WAS MY FIRST THAT WAS THE FIRST MISTAKE I MADE I NO BUT LIKE NOW WHENEVER I SEE HIM THAT BASICALLY ALL WE DO AN I THINK THATS ALL THAT BE ON HIS MIND.. I DONT NO WHAT TO DO EITHER DANGG I WISH I NEVER MET HIM.. BUT AT TIMES I DONT NO WHAT ILL DO WITHOUT HIM HE IS MY HEART.. DONT NO WHAT TO DO

MRS.. ME
06 Jul 2008, 21:10

ANNONYMOUS
06 Jul 2008, 21:10

Ice
24 Jun 2008, 08:19

Me and my ex we we're together for 1 yr and a half and we shared a miracle of my sons's birth together, I really thought he loved me a lot, but things started to become difficult, and he was telling me that he didn't want to be a father, or have a family yet. Then after sharing a good weekend together, he tells me that he can't be with me anymore, than that Monday he's already moved on and is loving another. I've tried to move on and go out on dates, but he's the only thing I think about, and everywhere I go, it reminds me of him. Please help me!

alex
19 Jun 2008, 04:01

u know what i been in a situation like this 4 over 7 years we are in this on and off relation ship and it sucks cause he dumps me every time he wants, he called me when he needs me and im there just waiting 4 his call im in a new relationship since 4 years and everything was perfec until he call me, i cheated on my boy friend and i fell really bad cause hes a realy nice guy, and he doesnt dever it u know what i mean , but i cant help it . . . im just so in love so my advise is. . . . i dont have one probably time wil help us. . . .thas what people said and i hope it works cause i got nothing left

Jessica
15 Jun 2008, 08:45

Sometimes it feels like a man does not value a relationship as much as a women does. My situation is I was involved with a Marine. We dated and became very serious too fast, he went off to war and I waited for him, I hung onto every word and believed in us. The moment he came home everything was different, he treated me like I was nothing, felt that what I did wasn't all that hard, and broke up with me. He'll contact me every once in awhile to keep the door open and I've fallen for it every time. Its so hard to move on because he can't tell me why he doesn't want to be with me, he'll say he loves me and wants to marry me buts its all bs. Its almost like he just wants me to wait for him more and be there when he needs. His family thinks he's crazy because I've become so close to them. Some say maybe the war has something to do with it, but I don't believe that. Maybe its denial, all I need to know is how to sever the ties because all this is doing is bringing me down.

Jessica
09 Jun 2008, 14:31

I am also in a similar situation. My boyfriend and I recently broke up 2 days ago and it has been torture for me. I miss him so much but i know deep down we are not right for each other. He has major trust issues and all we ever did was fight. We tried so hard to make it work, but things would get better for a week and then we'd be fighting again. I lost my friends, my self-esteem and almost my job throughout the year of our relationship. As I am writing this, I realize so much more that I am better off moving on, but my heart hurts so much right now. All I ever think about is the great times we shared together. Please tell me these feelings will go away soon.....

Natasha
30 Apr 2008, 20:41

i am in a situation where me and my boy-friend of Originally fifteen loving eachother and one year living together is having major issues in our relationship, our communication is horrible it all begin when we started having fincial problem so i ask him to leave the house since he wasn't contributing to the house-hold....when he did move out i knew that moment that i didnot want him to leave me because he is all i know how love so not even 24 hours pass where i call him asking him to come back two days latter he came back but when he came back he had an attitude out this world i really think he hate me because of his tolerant is very short with me every other day he thretend to leave me and iam loss about his hold out come. love this man and i don't feel nothing in return but him regreting coming back what do i do to get over him. I just want my dignity through this separation because i will be the hardest this i ever did.

cindy
26 Mar 2008, 17:50

I am in the same situation as mind without power. My ex and I were together for over 3 years, he dumps me, but still wants to talk to me when it is the right time for him to talk. He was talking to this lady when we were still together. (I found out later from cell records).

I know what his motive is he wants to keep me on the side because he thinks that he can talk me into having just a casual relationship with him now, he had just dumped the new girl, well when I did not give into him guess who he started calling again. her.

I know that I can not talk to him because he will just bring me down, I am trying to move on and I think when he gets wind of that, he calls because he does not want me to move on. I am working out, meeting people and hopefully I will meet someone who will have the same desires as me and I will forget all about him and move on, the only way I can do that is to cut him out of my life. I think of it this way, he cut me out of his life without my choice or say, why does he have the right to stay in my life in any way now. He doesn't, and when I get the urge to talk to him or answer that phone I just think I don't want him back and if I am talking to him then I am not available to find someone else.

Melissa
13 Mar 2008, 17:43

Well i do have to say, Ive been tryin to get over my ex now for 6 months trying to get him out my head and everything and i cannot do it, i do a wrong mistake ive ever made in my life, i cheated on the one i loved for what reason i asked myself for the attention, i wasnt getting i was in the relationship for almost 6 years and when i cheated i left him, YES i do miss him dearly we still communicate and talk i do have 3 children and he has none and he still takes my kids on weekends etc..we do talk once in awhile, i hurt him alot, and they always say, you dont know what you had till its gone, im not tryin to mix anyones head up just tryin to get advice for myself you can say also, and how to get your ex back in your life for good!!!! Im in the wrong all together like i said for what i did to him, but either i have to find out myself on how to get him back or how to just get over him all together, so if anyone has any idea's for me that would be great... thanks melissa

Helena
05 Mar 2008, 14:07

I agree...so much easier said than done, but you must ignore him...my situation is opposite...we dated for a period of time and then he ended things cold turkey...he does not keep in contact whatsoever...that is what hurts the most because obviously the truth comes down to the fact that he is not interested in me in that way...if he was, he would do anything in his power to be with me...he wouldn't have ended things in the forst place.

how do I get over him

Comments..(Not Questions)