<!-- Original:  Ronnie T. Moore -->
<!-- Web Site:  The JavaScript Source -->
<!-- Based on code by: Michael Carpenter -->
<!-- URL:  http://www.michaelcarpenter.net -->

<!-- This script and many more are available free online at -->
<!-- The JavaScript Source!! http://javascript.internet.com -->

<!-- Begin
var answers = new Array(
"When pigs start wearing pink tutus and can be seen as a fundamental part of the Russian ballet house tiptoeing their pink little hoofs across the stage.", 
"I can't believe you asked me that.  You are insane and everyone thinks you're insane.  Go away.", 
"Freak.", 
"No matter what you ask, I will always say 'YES' because all of your dreams will come true very soon.", 
"Stop dreaming and start being more realistic...what are the more important parts of life?",
"Yes, but only if you give me all of your money first.", 
"Unfortunately, you just have bad luck right now.  Don't try playing the lottery either, everything is raining on your parade.  Wait until your luck changes.",
"Only if you behave.  No forget it...misbehave and make it good and spicy!", 
"I think there is someone else you should be asking this question of, wouldn't you agree?", 
"In just a few minutes, it won't matter any more.  A band of merry Mariachi men are about to encircle your desk, sing happy songs to you and feed you lots of tequila.", 
"Go to the nearest bar, order a stiff martini and find the hottest single there and forget about this problem.",
"The answer is unclear because you have too much on your mind.  Take some time out to sort through your many problems.",
"You ask too many questions.",
"You will sooner sprout pink wings and fly like an eagle to distant planets calling you home.",
"You know you always get what you want anyway...why are you asking me?",
"I will get to that later...first I must take my daily bubble bath with my cabana boy...Ricco...who must scrub my feet.  Toodles!",
"I have too many margueritas in me at the moment (hiccup!)...I promise to think of an answer when I am sober.",
"No hablo Ingles.",
"Believe what your heart is telling you, because your heart is always right.  Your intuition is strong and lives in your heart.",
"That depends...if you are a hot, naked man...then you must send me your photo right now or else disastrous consequences will follow.  Otherwise...to the rest of you...yes.",
"Face the facts, you already know the answer.",
"Yes, when the moon is full and you are standing in a lonely field wearing a cape and suddenly it turns into a harlequin romance novel.",
"Shhh.....it's a secret.",
"I know the answer but I am not telling.",
"The answer is only a short $5,000,000 dollars away.  Please make the cheques payable to me and send as quickly as possible.  Make sure that would be in the form of a cashier's check.",
"No.  That is it, that is your answer, just a flat no.  No funny quip, no little tease.  It just ain't gunna happen.",
"First of all, ask yourself this:  Do you really care?  Then ask yourself if you think I really care.  lol.",
"Yes, but not before you write a best selling novel about your situation making you millions.  So get to it.",
"You can make anything happen yourself.  If this is what you really want, you have a goal to acheive.  Anyone can reach their goals, it is a mettr of mind over matter.",
"You know, there are some really good doctors out there who can help you with this.....I know a few goods ones quite intimately.",
"Just forget about it and call for a pizza.  Have your friends bring over some beer and then call your local strip tease hotline for some fast and wholesome fun.",
"You know, there is nothing that two bloody marys and a valium can't fix.",
"Holy crap!  I mean...um....no.",
"Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha You crack me up.  No really, stop, I'm dying over here.",
"'When you wish upon a star....'   Does that answer your question?",
"As long as you stay the sweet and loving person you have always been, you will get your wish.",
"The crystal ball is telling me something you don't want to hear...but you already know the truth.",
"You have angels watching over you right now and they know what is best for you, you'll see.",
"Sometimes only time will tell.  This is something you are going to have to wait out.",
"You have a lesson to learn here so I can't give you your answer.  The best way to grow and learn is through experience.  This is one of those experiences made just for you.",
"Many a knight have quested for this same answer and they all died trying to attain it.  Don't be one of them.",
"This is completely up to you....now ask yourself, how badly do you want it?",
"I am not sure if this is good or not but the question you just asked completely fried the motherboard of my crystal ball.",
"You are wasting your time with me.  Hey, at least you aren't actually working or anything.",
"You have bigger problems at hand.  Your boss is looking over your shoulder and you are about to get the ol' heave-ho out the front door.",
"This question requires extra special attention in the form of some expensive champagne gift wrapped and sent to moi.  Upon arrival, I will thoughtfully contemplate your solution.",
"Yes.  No.  Yes.  No.  Yes.  No.  Damn, the crystal ball is either skipping again or having some kind of epileptic seizure.",
"The answer to this question is never clear.  But it can be persuaded to be the answer you desire if you have the intelligence to do so.",
"Everyone but you seems to know the answer to this question.  Hurry up and catch up with the rest of society or continue to ride the short bus."
);
function fortune() {
num = Math.round( (answers.length - 1) * Math.random());
return answers[num];
}
//  End -->