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momof2
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| Joined: | Fri Feb 3rd, 2006 |
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Posted: Fri Feb 3rd, 2006 03:19 pm |
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What do you do when you are neither shown nor told that you are loved? My husband and I do not exchange any kind of affection anymore (unless he is super horny) and even then zero kissing. What I wouldn't give for an occassional hug or a squeeze...and yes I have plainly stated my needs on numerous occassions. He shrugs it off with "you knew I was not romantic when you met me" well guess what, it was it kindness, consideration, and AFFECTION that made me fall in love with him. Now I really am starting to resent him and wonder if my growing depression is even worth it every day. I feel like a maid, mom, and room-mate and that is all. Help.
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candygirl
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| Joined: | Sat Feb 4th, 2006 |
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Posted: Sat Feb 4th, 2006 11:01 pm |
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I'm new to the group and read your post. After 16 years of marriage my husband divorced me because I was the same way your husband is now. It was a wake up call and epiphany. Only too late did I realize how much I really did love him and how terribly I've hurt him over the years. My love, affection and sexuality got lost somewhere along the way only to find it again when it was too late.
I would do ANYTHING to be able to make up to my ex all that I have denied him over the years. One of the things I am doing is going through all of the pain and regret of how deeply I have wounded him. It is killing me inside but I believe it is my just punishment for how I hurt someone who was so loving. I used to be the love of his life but I killed that and now he's out there looking for the new love of his life.
My heart breaks for you and I hope your husband has his epiphany long before I did so that you both can avoid the drastic heartbreaking step of divorce that we went through. But, maybe something drastic is what is needed to get his attention...it certainly got mine, but unfortunately too late.
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momof2
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Posted: Wed Feb 8th, 2006 04:20 pm |
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| Thanks for the reply its the only one I have received. I started thinking I was on a big feel sorry for myself victim thing. I really don't want to start thinking about divorce but at what point does it just not seem worth it anymore. I appreciate your insight and am surprised that a woman would be in the role that my husband is in.
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tee-tee
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Posted: Wed Feb 14th, 2007 05:44 pm |
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| hey I am new and still no reply advice for my situation. my husband thinks that instead of apologizing he can just have sex. sex= i'm sorry. other wise no affection, no kissing, and its been like that the mahority of 11 years. I tried, cried, initiated, wrote letters, tried to talk, until I am out of gas! I have decided to love me and give me affection. I spend time doing things for myself! How about it is Valentines day and he doesnt even wish me happy v day. so I have stopped. i spend time with friends who makes me feel good since I cant get it at home. I am trying to find my way out.
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